....well, it's up on a well-known dating site. I'd love to post the link but something akin to compassion stops me. After all, it is a ghastly profile. I've always wondered about dating sites and just exactly what their purpose is. After all, from reading profile after profile, it reduces people to preferences, a restaurant menu, a do or don't. And nowhere is this better evidenced than on QIE's profile, where he's spent time creating a 17 question (there you go, there's your first clue) monstrosity of a questionnaire, designed to whittle down the ladies from maybes to definites.
'Do you believe yourself to be the creator of your own destiny (YES), or do you believe in fate (NO)?' he asks.
How I laughed at this one, knowing that he believed that his own intellectual game had been lowered by living with his ex-wife and that his lack of progress at work was due to the slathering, oppressive jealousy of his boss, rather than his own incompetence.
'Would you rather spend your time on an all-inclusive holiday (NO) or an adventure holiday (YES)?'
Sounds a nice, go-getting choice, designed to cut the wheat from the chaff and select only women who'd shop at Berghaus if they won the Lottery. Shame that he obviously failed to include another, more plausible option, however.
'Would you like to spend your time sitting uncomfortably next to me on the sofa whilst I try to persuade you to have anal sex by pointing out that I've already got the Anchor in (YES)?'
Sunday 23 March 2008
Monday 17 March 2008
Horoscopes....
....now, I must tread carefully here as one of my best male friends - and a reader of this blog - falls into this category, but I have a bone to pick with Piscean men. In fact, I'd happily eviscerate most of the ones I've met and reduce them to their fishy skeletons before tossing them out for the birds.
For they're the ones who've caught my eye, reduced me to jelly, said the right things (well, mostly), been inconsistently in contact, made me want them even more, lived out in the sticks in rural idylls, and then dumped me. No other star-sign can do this to me.....a Virgo who'd be too busy dusting to notice as I cheated on his pristine heart, the Aries who got tangled up on his own horns and ended up puncturing nothing more than hot air, the Cancer who'd emesh himself in his own tears with no room for my own....nah, those are the ones that I've been able to get shot of, both mentally and emotionally. But blokes born under the sign which encourages alcoholism, infidelity and hopeless (I was tempted to put 'ly overblown romantic' but nah....) gestures are always the ones who can make me think back with a burst of poignancy so bright that it'll rival the French's nuclear antics in the South Pacific.....but the great irony of this, is that this is a collection of things they've said and done
- Let's work out together in tight Lycra and I can see your vulva!
- proffered his mobile phone to me, whereupon I read a joke about
'how women can wax their bikini lines, underarms and legs, give birth, pierce their nipples, pluck their eyebrows and bleach unwanted hairs but they won't take it up the arse 'cos it hurts!!!!'
(this, I think, was his attempt to get me to do a Last Tango with him, and bless, he'd even bought the Anchor in preparation but that wasn't quite enough for me.....)
- told me that all women over 40 were to be written off
OK, so I know that's only 3 things but I'm feeling bitter, perturbed and disturbed today by the tsunami of crap I've taken from men....
(Growls......)
For they're the ones who've caught my eye, reduced me to jelly, said the right things (well, mostly), been inconsistently in contact, made me want them even more, lived out in the sticks in rural idylls, and then dumped me. No other star-sign can do this to me.....a Virgo who'd be too busy dusting to notice as I cheated on his pristine heart, the Aries who got tangled up on his own horns and ended up puncturing nothing more than hot air, the Cancer who'd emesh himself in his own tears with no room for my own....nah, those are the ones that I've been able to get shot of, both mentally and emotionally. But blokes born under the sign which encourages alcoholism, infidelity and hopeless (I was tempted to put 'ly overblown romantic' but nah....) gestures are always the ones who can make me think back with a burst of poignancy so bright that it'll rival the French's nuclear antics in the South Pacific.....but the great irony of this, is that this is a collection of things they've said and done
- Let's work out together in tight Lycra and I can see your vulva!
- proffered his mobile phone to me, whereupon I read a joke about
'how women can wax their bikini lines, underarms and legs, give birth, pierce their nipples, pluck their eyebrows and bleach unwanted hairs but they won't take it up the arse 'cos it hurts!!!!'
(this, I think, was his attempt to get me to do a Last Tango with him, and bless, he'd even bought the Anchor in preparation but that wasn't quite enough for me.....)
- told me that all women over 40 were to be written off
OK, so I know that's only 3 things but I'm feeling bitter, perturbed and disturbed today by the tsunami of crap I've taken from men....
(Growls......)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
