Horoscopes....

....now, I must tread carefully here as one of my best male friends - and a reader of this blog - falls into this category, but I have a bone to pick with Piscean men. In fact, I'd happily eviscerate most of the ones I've met and reduce them to their fishy skeletons before tossing them out for the birds.
For they're the ones who've caught my eye, reduced me to jelly, said the right things (well, mostly), been inconsistently in contact, made me want them even more, lived out in the sticks in rural idylls, and then dumped me. No other star-sign can do this to me.....a Virgo who'd be too busy dusting to notice as I cheated on his pristine heart, the Aries who got tangled up on his own horns and ended up puncturing nothing more than hot air, the Cancer who'd emesh himself in his own tears with no room for my own....nah, those are the ones that I've been able to get shot of, both mentally and emotionally. But blokes born under the sign which encourages alcoholism, infidelity and hopeless (I was tempted to put 'ly overblown romantic' but nah....) gestures are always the ones who can make me think back with a burst of poignancy so bright that it'll rival the French's nuclear antics in the South Pacific.....but the great irony of this, is that this is a collection of things they've said and done

- Let's work out together in tight Lycra and I can see your vulva!
- proffered his mobile phone to me, whereupon I read a joke about

'how women can wax their bikini lines, underarms and legs, give birth, pierce their nipples, pluck their eyebrows and bleach unwanted hairs but they won't take it up the arse 'cos it hurts!!!!'

(this, I think, was his attempt to get me to do a Last Tango with him, and bless, he'd even bought the Anchor in preparation but that wasn't quite enough for me.....)

- told me that all women over 40 were to be written off

OK, so I know that's only 3 things but I'm feeling bitter, perturbed and disturbed today by the tsunami of crap I've taken from men....

(Growls......)